Assalamualikum readers & ttcians,

My last update was in november 2015, such a long time isn't it? 

Too many stories, moments would like to share but i have a very limited time haha....its not a good excuse i guess :P

Well, today rasa mcm nak luahkan somthing. I am very sad..very very sad and its so sickening. My heart was broken. As a ttcians i believe many of you feel the same way. No body knows how its feel except ttician. The tears, heart broken, disappointment, depression, sad, useless all mixed up. The feeling for being ttcians is just ..... how am i to describe??? tell me sob.sob..sob...

I am so blessed to have a very understanding and supporting husband. He hate to see me sad when its come to child. He always comfort me by saying that "if we dont have any child then its ok as long as i have you around that should be enough...together we build our own happiness in our own way"...i know he is so supportive anyhow as a wife its just our dream to have our own child isn't it??? i cant pretend im okay....and the fact is im am not okay!!! 

Several times my cousins have their newborn baby, i have not strong enough want to pay them a visit as i dont want to hurt my feelings. Dont get me wrong..im happy for them just cant face them. Its all about me and me and me......i have to jaga my feeling as well. And most important thing i dont want people to express their sympathy towards me. If you really would like to show your sympathy to me then do it in silent way. Pray for me may Allah give me a chance to have my own baby.

Yesterday i overheard my sister in law was pregnant for 5 weeks. I am so happy for her but why ..why and why i was not be informed??? why keep it from me??? or they dont want to hurt my feeling?  by telling me? owh no...no..no...dont do this to me sob...sob..sob..

When you hide it .....it will make me sad and disappointing. I get to know by "overheard" if not ???? do you know guys?? its hurt me a lot...a lot...trust me you wont know or feel what i've been through now. Married for 7 years with no kids...haih...saddening isnt it?

Now im trying to take it in positive way. I know Allah is the best planner. I believe in Allah. Allah is always there for me whenever i feel down.  Rezeki itu datangnya dari Allah. 



p/s: dear my unborn baby bunga hati ibu, belum ada rezeki untuk kite berjumpe....bunga doa bnyk2 moga kite cepat jmpe ye sayang. Ibu nak sangat rase mengandungkan bunga, melahirkan bunga dan membesarkan bunga. Tapi ibu tak tau adakah ibu berpeluang untuk merasa semua itu. Kadang-kadang ibu sedih bile teringatkan bile  la dapt kite berjumpa tp ibu percaya Allah maha adil , maha mendengar, maha mengasihani...moga Allah makbulkan doa ibu. Ibu akan terus merayu dan merayu moga Allah perkenankan doa2 ibu. Ibu love u bunga sayang. Will wait for you my miracle baby.

My pathetic life...😢

Assalamualaikum.....

Lame x update blog ni...besawang dah...huhu

Hari ni rase mcm nk luahkan ape yg terbuku lam hati ni...almaklum la ttcians ni super duper sensitive dr segi emosinye huhu...

Well, the good news is my sis da pregnant...alhamdulillah, sbb finally berjaya jgak. Dia pon lame da tggu ......when i know she's preggy...i was so happy...happy sgt until i forgt yg i am actually trying to convieve toooo......but after sometimes the happy moments turn up to becme my not in mood day....i swearrr im happy for her so damn much...but i pitty of my self tooo...its like my whole world crash on top of my head.....

From that day im trying to act normal infront of others....but not to my self, i cant lie to myslef...as usual im good pretender/actress ...till no body notice my sadness. Deep in my heart ....pray to Allah to give me a chance to experience the pregnancy world.

Now ..i thnk im recovery slowly and try to re-built my confidence level towards pregnancy. 

Owh ya...i just had newborn newphew, he is so cute...its took me 2 weeks to meet him as i dont want to hurt my feeling ( hehehe since im on recovery process)

Okay...now whats bothering me???

Mcm ni....i have bff watsapp group. I love them so much...they are married with kiddos....yupp with kiddos except ME😕

You know....we chitchatting about a lot of issues..im ok with that but when they talk about their kidddos....what am i suppose to say...they talk about school..education...exam...result..and how good their kiddos achievment ...i was like..😣

How happy lucky mom's you are my bff....tak mo tipuu the truth is ....im hurt!!! Unlucky wife with no kiddos....ouch...its soooo heartbreaking!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭

Dear bff,

Im on silent mode during the conversation not because im bz .....not because im not intrested....not because unsupportive to your kiddos.....but i am just a human being yang ada perasaan yg i cnt describe it at all....i dont thnk u all understand me...nope u will never know..i dont need your sympathy....just pray for me but in silently....if Allah da tetapkan yg i wont hv any kids...thn i pasrah n redha. Moga Allah bg rezeki yg lain...but if Allah dgr suara hati hamba mu ini...berilah peluang untuk aku mnjdi seorang ibu even hanya untuk seorang anak...ameen.


P/s: dear bungahati ibu....nampaknya blom ada tanda2 kamu nak menjengah rahim ibu lg.....ibu ttp sabar dan tetap mengharap moga yg Esa makbulkan doa2 ibu...tak saba ibu nak jmpe bungahati ibu ni.....taksaba ibu nak kandung kamu...nak dodoikan kamu sayang....nk dgr tangisan kamu....nak dgr suara kamu....nk buat mcm2 ngan kamu...i love u baby bungahati...ibu x tau kamu dgr atau tak...tp u shld knw yg ibu always waiting for u my miracle baby....😚😘😍😙

Masih Mengharap....

Assalamualaikum....

Lame jugak aku tak update blog ni...bukan ape, tp masih mengumpul kekuatan tuk cerita..sob..sob..sob.. hati ni sgt2 fragile....umpama puding terlebih air..hehe....

Yes, i have my very own reason kenape lame tak update. Tau tak yg hati ini sgt frust. Meh ai cite..telling you the truth, every time bile teringatkan "hal" tu....hati jd sedih...no body notice my sadness no body care or someone care but they dont even tell me sbb taknak ai sedih kot!! maybe lah....

As i mentioned i my previous post, my cik P is ting tong...suke suki kuar..suke suki takdatng. Actually since January this year, cik p meragam...kua sikit2, brownish colour gitue..tp tak la byk. Its continuously for several weeks then stop....same goes to feb, mar, april and may.

Bile buat upt hasilnye ade line tp blur (bleh refer kat my previous post).......

So on bulan may, i feel something but buat dunno jerkk....i am so freakin bz with my parttime job. Busy and tiring. I dont even bother my health. Last week of my bz day, malam tu g toilet and notice ada spot reddish. Ada rasa tak selesa skit. But aku buat tak tau jek. Before that, ade la tanda2 cik p nak mai...hati tu mcm hangin gak laa...tp at the same time syukur gak sbb dia mau dtg bile bz time nak abis..kok dia dtg time bz2 nihh...haru woooo.....hehehe

On the 5th of may, heavy flow melandaa. Ya allah......never go through this experience before. Berketul2 dia kua....sehari sampai 6-8 pad tukar...and every time tukar mmg penuh to the max.....masuk hari yg ke4 still mcm tu jgak..hati mula tak sedap. So hari ke 5 ai decided tuk g hospital tp takut kene tahan. Time tu kat umah my sis. Kang kok kene tahan susah....sbb mr hub nak dtg jauh. Jadi nye my sis suh gi clinic jer specialist jugk katenye...so aku pun gi laa..gegehhh bejalan mcm org lps keguguran. sampai jer clinic, kat reception tu ade sorang nurse otai..hahaha....dia tanye nape...sbb doc masuk kul 2.30 and time tu baru kul 12nooon....then my sis explain lah...aku da tak dayo nak becakap and dia tanye "is she pregnant?" ...my sis bitau laa lst month ade la buat upt tp blur2 gitu....now heavy flow...then nurse tu ckp "ok come in..let me scan her ....she looks so pale....(gile tak pale dah darah bebaldi kot kuar)...and come back at 2.30"

But before tu dia suh aku buat upt....can u imagine how la nak buat sbb cik p mencurah2 ....dia tetap suh buat gak katenye nothing to do with cik p.....aku pun gegehh buat...pastu trs pas kat nurse lagi sorang...my sis kepochi sikit..dia dok jer kat sblah nurse tuuu.....aku da tesandarrr kat kusi dahh....then tetibe dia dtgg ckp kat aku..."ehhhhh positive laa................"

im like "erkkkk......biau betul"....perasaan mcm....perlukah aku hapy? sedih? keciwaaaa? takut???....mcm tak cayeee jerk...so aku pun tgk sendiri dan hasil nyeee....................mcm ni

tp perasaan tu lebih kepada takut....sbb cik p dah mencurah2 kuar...mcm mana lak leh positive....berdebar hati ni allah jer yg tahu. mengharapkan yg terbaik ...jika betul "bungahati" yg ibu cari ade betul2 kat situ....mengharapkan dia sihat....walaupun perasaan tu kadnag2 jahat kate tak mungkin...sob..sob..sob....

Kami pon balik n decide tuk dtg balik kul 2.30. Dalam kete tuk seketika senyapp jer...hati aku gundah gulana...n my sis mcm tahu agaknye aku tgh sedih sume..so dia diam jer....lame2 aku cam rase tak sedap....mtk tolong dia tanye kan kwn dia....sister kat hospital ampang. Ikut dari ape yg kwn dia ckp.....kalau kite preggy pastu miscarriage..then buat upt still positive sbb hormon baby blom habis kuar.....tp ape pun tunggu doc for further explanation.  Hati aku cam tersentap bile dgr mcm tu ....sob..sob.......time tu dah down dahh......tp muke buat2 cool jer....even hati da bekecai2...

2.30pm g balik clinic tu jumpe doc. specialist dr hospital kl...i let my sis to explain kat doc and tunjukkan upt td tu...and do the talking as well sbb aku takde mood at all. just jwb ape yg doc tanye jer.......doc scan skli lagi. my sis tanye doc aku ni misscarriage ker...doc ckp its too early nak ckp...dia suh amik darah buat beta hcg pstu katenye "pray for the baby still there".....im speechless. doc suh dtg after 2 weeks and at the same time bagi folic acid and pil hormon. I just consume folic acid jer and pil hormon tu aku tak amik pon, sbb mcm manis jer rasenye...aku  ni da la diabetes, kang sakit lain plak yg dtg.

Aku buat keputusan tak gi pun jmpe doc tu after 2 weeks...sbb buat upt line sume da takde...and all the symptom gone. So aku blaja terime hakikat the baby is gone...belum rezeki aku nak jumpe bunga hati yg aku tunggu2 tu...perit nye hanye allah yg tahu. Im a good actress, depan org aku masih boleh gelak....pretend to be strong women.....tp hakikat nya hati ni sgt keciwa. Lucky my mr hun cool jerk....he comfort me when i was down....give me support in either way....haishh...nak ckp mcm mane kan...

**owh yaa...result for beta hcg tu NEGATIVE (tu yg menguatkan lagi aku maals nak jmpe doc tu)

Nak kate im givng up...nope..never....i wont, i strongly believe on Allah and aku sgt percaya dia akan makbulkan doa2 aku...pasti!! tp masanye tu ....but one thing, i know aku boleh pregnant! tu yg buat aku mcm lega...pasrah? ermm....redha? kdang2 senang je org ckp "ko kene redha...ko kene pasrah" tp yg melalui nye aku.....hati ni kadang2 jahat...even mulut kate iye redha / pasrah tp hati tak relaaa...tak relaaa...hanya ber TTC yang tahu perasaan keciwa nye mcm mane.....jika anda bukan ttcian dont ever pretend to understand our situation...totally different!!!

After "hal" tu...aku rasa im become a better muslim which is aku jaga hubungan aku dengan Allah...no..no bukan nak kate bile somthing bad happen baru nak ingat allah...bukann.....just aku rase aku lalai before this, lalai dengan suruhan nye ...solat pun rompong sane sini.....but now alhamdulillah aku syukur sgt Allah pilih aku untuk bagi petunjuk dan hidayahnya....aku insan yg terpilih untuk melalui semua ni. Alhamdullilah rezeki yg lain pun bertambah baik bile kita jaga hubungan dengan Allah. Cuma rezeki "anak" jer blom lagi. Ok aku cite bukan nak cite yg aku ni baik or da insap...bukan...just sharing tu jer.

Ok rasenye dah banyak sgt aku tulis....hehe...bile da ade kekuatan byk la plak nak tulis...kok takkk senyapp jer blog ni ye takkk.....hurm...till then..

p/s: Dear bunga hati ibu, belum ade rezeki untuk kita bersua muka, belum ade rezeki ibu nak dengar suara sayang...tp ibu pasti, Allah tak kejam...dia pasti dengar doa2 ibu tuk jumpe bunga. SEmoga ada sinar harapan ibu nak jmpe bunga tahun depan. Harap2 tahun ni bunga ada dlm rahim ibu....ibu sayang bunga tau.....ibu tau bunga ade kat satu alam yg lain, tak saba ibu nak jmpe bunga....love u ketat2 bungahatiibu!!!

HOw do you FEEL (part 2.......)

Assalamualaikum & good morning...

Geedikkk tak title kat atas tu??? Siap ber part part bagai hahahahaha....haaa entry pg ni mmg kesinabungan entry sblm ni.....ermm in my first entry ade mention yg blog ni mmg utk ai luahkan ape yg terpendam ....biase la Ttcians mmg sensetipppp....hikhikhik...so here we go!! (Tak bape stuju dgn ape yg ai bakal tulis...feel free to press X button)

Mcm ni tau, when u know u probably pregnant.....HOW DO YOU FEEL? ...mine?  Im happy + excited + worry + confuse .... itu lah perasaan sayaaaaa bile tgk UPT tuuu....even line 1 lg samar2 but still harap pregnant uolss.... (i wont lie....mmg ai sgt berharap.... :(  sob...sob)

Then ai share pic tu with my sis...and as i told in previous entry she said mmg 2 line disitu....(hati makkkk lompat2 uols time tu huuhu ....tp hati jek not fizikal hahahaha) so bermulaaa lah episod nasihat menasihati.....dont do that..dont do this....can eat that not this....bla...blaa...blaa...dlm hti berkate2 gak haishhh blom kompom kot....butt one thing aku sgt sgt suke n happy dgn kate2 positve dia....ai ckp gak "wehh what if xde....sbb line sgt samar kann" and she replied me...dont say that...insyaallah ade tu..doa semoga Allah kurniakan janin @kandungan yg sihat..permudahkan sgalanya....byk lg kate2 yg sangat menyenangkan hati n halwa telinga ai dgr....hehehe.....i love u sis!!!! Sooo much!!! HOW DO U FEEL?...mine? ....im happy.... :)

Owh yaaa...i told my sis not to tell my mom until its confirm....however she was so excited, n dia pun bg tau (dlm hatiii haiiilaaa haiiii kang kok x jd sian ibu...sbb even this is not cucu pertama uols tp im the youngest and among siblings ai jek blom ade jekiii..)....dan bermula lah lg episod petua and much more advse from her...and she also gv me alot of kata2 yg sgt2 positve...me love u toooo ibuuu ....HOW DO YOU FEEL? mine....im super dupper happy uols :)

Besides excted yg overloaded, other reason yg buat my sis btau ibu sbb kate nye "takpela ibu tau..doa ibu kan paling mustajab.....besides ko doa sendiri im sure ibu akan doaaa more2 extra tuk ko dik" haishhh sedih lak bile dia ckp cmtu....dlm hti hurmmm betul gak.....

Cik hun dia mula2 xcted kot...tp kontrol2 skit huhu and besides ibu n sis...he is pillar of my strenght
He was sooo cool, calm and steady. Katenye bersedia dgn segala kemungkinan.....love u hunnn!!! 

Happy kan bile kite cite kaat the one we loved most....and their feedbck like haaiihhh sooo menenangkan hti .....tp nk buat mcm mane happy tu x lame bile upt -ve.... but org2 yg kat ats ni keep bg moral support...their always positve..kate2 mcm

# its ok dik...insyaalllah ade rezeki tu
# Allah nak uji dulu....insyaallah ade sok tu
# takper .....jgn putus doa mtk kat Allah, dia maha mengetahui
#takpelah....xde rezeki nak buat mcm mane, kite kan ade anak buluss...kite jg dia je laa semtara nak ade baby (ni dr my hun...hehehe).
# takpe2...tp kan hati aku ni kuat ckp ko akan pregnant this yr (haaa ni dr my bff....dia pon sgt positve..love u bff)
#keep on trying babe.....
# Allah da aturkan segalanya tuk ko....ade hikmah tuuu....

Yeeer inilah kate2 yg aku nk dgr....Dan byk2 lg kate2 yg dorang bg supya aku x hilang semangattt hehe...HOW DO YOU FEEL? Surrounding by this beautiful fmily n frens....im blessed!!!

Buttttt.....bile ade positive makanya adela negatve kannn..bile da kompom xde, hati tergerak nak cite kat someone yg aku syg gak...but i just cnt share why i did not tell her bile upt +ve (ala2 perangkap samar tu) let me keep inside my heart....when i slowly btau dia, bla..bla..bla...she jst listen dgn kepla angguk2 sikit (bgtau time tu tgh makan , x senonoh kan hehehe...) ai pun gegehh cite from a to z...sambil sedih2 skit, soreee ai kendur2 sikit.....emosi skit....and lastly ai ckp hurmmm so skrg da xde, bile buat upt -ve.....and u know what she reply me?  "Owhhh yeke..hurm mmg xde tuuuuu" pstu smbng makan .....thats it!!!! Oiiiii mak geegeh cte, tu je???? Tu jeee??? .....ai pun trs tunduk sambung makan..walau rase nasikk tu mcm pasir..walau rase mcm air tu bile minum x rase itu air.....shre with someone that i love....but the feedbck was soooo.........xde kate2 semngat...simpati..kate2 nk pujuk hati yg duka lara nii...XDE OKEH!!!

so HOW DO YOU FEEL?  

Mine??? I was down.....down sampai bawah kerak bumi :(  tp aku cube gak tahan....bertahan....tp da x tertahan aku luah kan kat sini...sob...sob...sob..peristiwa masih jelas kat kepla otak aku ni haaa...masihhh berbekam...tp aku buat biasa je....dlm hati...jika ada rezeki aku mengandung aku x kan btau dia smpai lah dia tnye npe perut aku tekedepan sgt....until that moment just "ssshhhhhhh"

I believe most of ttcians go through same experince as mine...hanya kita yg rase yg tahu mcm mane perasaan itu.....pedih nye....sakit nye....keciwaaaa nye.....kdg2 hapy (bile upt +ve.... even x pregnant pon) perasaan mengharap tu dlm pada dmulut ckp x mengharap....tp di hatiii harapan setinggi2nya nk jd seorg ibu......bg yg kawin2 je trs pregnant, sile jgn bersuara mcm "aku faham perasaan ko" a big FAT noo plss...sbbb korang x kan faham...takkan faham stu ape pun sbb korang x rase ape yg kami2 ni rase....

Kepada di luar sane, tlg jgn tanye ape pun kat kami ttcians.....bile nk ade baby or anythng yg related....makkk x suke....x sukè okeh!! takpayh tanye just doakan kami je...doakan kami diam2 sudaa...

Okeh entry ni panjang bejelaaa...part 2 abis disini...hehehehe

Semoga doa2 ku dimakbulkan..amin

p/s: dear my precious bunga, ibu ingat haritu dpt jmpe bunga....tp takdir kite x tertulis begitu :(  tp doa ibu hari2 supaya dpt jmpe bunga...bunga yg ibu & daddy tunggu2....♡ u bunga!!!

XOXO
{ibubunga}

HOw do you FEEL??

Assalamualaikum,

Terasa nak luah somthing.....tak tau nak cite ke tak tp fikir punya fikir argghhh just write it here better..cite kat org bukan dorang paham kannn.  Mcm ni last month ade satu masa im not feeling weĺl..batuk +flu+damammmm. Stress gile oìiì!! Slalu aiii kalau demam flu bagai less thn a wèek recover dah...ni da 2 weeks still lg demam on n off, flu berterusan n batuk ok skit....

Nak dijdkan cite one of my colleague ckp "eh...ntah2 ko ni ngandung kottttt" which is x terlintas langsung kat otak aku ni haaa....sbb cik p aku mmg tingtong...kjp ade kjp xde....suke2 dia mai...si kwn itu suh aku buat upt...haaaaaaa seriau tauuu sbb ape? Sbb dlm entry aku yg mule2 kan ai btau yg aku seorg ttcians.....so kok cte bab BABY ni mmg aku suke berhaarap...(even tau kdg2 harap tu x bgs tuk kesihatan...sob....sob..sob)

Tp hati kate "mcm xde....." ai pon dok gegehhh la gune cik puan google....tanda2 awl2 kan...kan.kann....suprisingly sume tanda2 ade tanpe ai sedari huhuhu...tkpelah i dok gegeh kali ni g bli upt....beselah org ckp buat upt early in the morng baru accurae result nye....tp knowing me my self sifat saboooo tu kuranggg hahahahah jd nye aku buat ptg tu gak....n the result mcm ni 😕

Dannnn ini lg......

Sooooo.....what do you thnk???ade or xde... 😣

Kalau korang perasan mmg ade 1 line lg yg agak samar.....blurrrrr...... (tp kok x nmpk sowey lah hehehe) sbb bile tunjuk kat cik hun dia trs kate nampak (mayybe kenmpakan garisan itu d pengaruhi oleh keinginan dia nak baby ke or mmg dia nmpak betul) ....but i do send tis pic to my sis...n she said yess tooo..... ade 2 line , 1 with samar2.....

Hurm, mcm title aku kat atas "how do u feel lalau korang kat tmpat aku".....happy kah? Takut kah? ....as for me aku sgt berhati2 dgn perasaan aku..takut terlukaaaa lagi hukhukhuk..

I did it on 23mar..and repeating on 25th...same je resultnye.... butttt when i redo on 26th....there is not line at alll....only 1 line je.... huwaaaaa😭😭😭😭...againn how do u feel??? Btau cik hun dia ckp xpe saba...xde rezeki lg.. (mak pasrah tp masih berharap acane tuùuu) yelaaa 5 taun aku tggu oiiiì.....hukhuk....

Begitu laaaa cerite nye.....hati terluka lagiii dan lagi....pencarian cik bungahatisaya gagalll...

Ya Allah, kau tabahkanla hati ku....mak nangis x belaguù da niii hukhuk.....

p/s: my precious bungahati.....belom ade keizinan dr NYA untuk kita bertemu....semoga kita berjumpa suatu hari nanti.....amin

XOXO

{ibubunga}

Damn tired😥

Assalamualikum....

Saya sgt penat. Today my colleague on medical leave. Pity her since yesterday not feeling well. Dia bukan seorang yg suke cotiiii....x suke mc....n x suke buat..not like me😆 but today mmg she need to rest (get well soon buddy!)

But lucky ade peneman..kurang la skit kerja...owh yaaa im working as a customer service...fening mak melayan dorang ni, but what to da kje kan...andd i do 💖 my job! 😊

After abis kje, trs ke class jait...haaaa uols jgn main2 tau....mak ade impian nak jd fashion designer..Nak jait baju sendiri (tp designer sendu lah) hahahah.....gegehhh arini blaja nak buat baju kebaya uolsss hewwwhewww😉.... tak sukeeee tp cube gak nk buat yg terbaik....insyaalllah....da bape arini haishh penat ...penat..normal routine tp penat mengalahkan org kje angkat simen...(mayb age factor kotttt ahaksss)......nak buat ape sume mls...padahal ade org tempah jait manik...tak gak siap2 lg...adoiii nyesal lak amik tempahan....jika ku tahu kemlsn sebegini melandaaaa makanye akan ku tolak tempahan ini...

Owh ya td en.hun anta ni...katenye cube la amalkan...mane tau kalau ade rezeki....haaa dpt je trs mak apply dlm doa lps solat td...positve.....positive....positive 

Allah maha pendengar doa....ttcians..jom amalkan....(mayb some of u da tau..)

Ok...bile bju da siap ai post lam ni...hehehe till then, c u in nxt entry

P/s: my precious bunga,smoga ade rezeki tuk kite jmpe😙😍


XOXO
{Ibubunga}

Introducing my self... :)

Assalamualaikum,

Let me introduce my self and why i created this blog... :) 

Nothing else, just want to express my feeling towards everything especially when comes to BABY issue (sob..sob...sob)..yaaa and my personal life, my family, my friends, my work....sometimes i do need someone to lend her shoulder on me, but i do not know who or most important thing is she undestand my situation? i have a bunch of friends..just name it..bff, my colleague, my schoolmate even my family ..sibling but nope... i dont trust them! why?? i dont have the answer...huhu owh yaa..i do lovee them very much..yesss veryyy much!!

Sometimes they dont even know that im suffering from their words...conversation...no..no..no...except ME.

Owh ya btw im ttcians...  :)  married for almost 5 years, a very very hard years for me without a baby (sob...sob...sob).  Treatment? erm...npe i did not get any...mcm urut or amik supplements tu ada laa....lain nope...maybe i will but laterrr.. (hehe mcm umo mude ye dokkk)....but yess not having a baby sangat menyakitkan...org tak faham..org tak tau..org hanya nampak im a happy go lucky person..but deep..deep inside ni haaa adoiiii....sedeyyy....but i do grateful sbb ada mr. hun, family, family in law, friends...all of them very the supportive....

Let me warn you, in next next entry ...will be emotional story moryyyy..hahahaha...suke baco tak suke just leave it!!! let me meroyan kat dlm ni....rase2 mcm nak fitammmm just tekan butang (X)....agagagagaga!

Owh ya nape blog ai name dia "Bunga Hati Saya"...sbb sayaaa berangan nak baby gurl!! and i nak named her as "Bunga" and she's gonna be my precious bunga in my heart... :)  harap2 berangan tu jd kenyataan kann dan pencarian bunga akan dipermudahkan oleh NYA amin...but if dapat baby boy pun ai akan bersyukur sgt....doakan aii ....

Kite sambung next entry........

XOXO,

{ibubunga}