HOw do you FEEL (part 2.......)

Assalamualaikum & good morning...

Geedikkk tak title kat atas tu??? Siap ber part part bagai hahahahaha....haaa entry pg ni mmg kesinabungan entry sblm ni.....ermm in my first entry ade mention yg blog ni mmg utk ai luahkan ape yg terpendam ....biase la Ttcians mmg sensetipppp....hikhikhik...so here we go!! (Tak bape stuju dgn ape yg ai bakal tulis...feel free to press X button)

Mcm ni tau, when u know u probably pregnant.....HOW DO YOU FEEL? ...mine?  Im happy + excited + worry + confuse .... itu lah perasaan sayaaaaa bile tgk UPT tuuu....even line 1 lg samar2 but still harap pregnant uolss.... (i wont lie....mmg ai sgt berharap.... :(  sob...sob)

Then ai share pic tu with my sis...and as i told in previous entry she said mmg 2 line disitu....(hati makkkk lompat2 uols time tu huuhu ....tp hati jek not fizikal hahahaha) so bermulaaa lah episod nasihat menasihati.....dont do that..dont do this....can eat that not this....bla...blaa...blaa...dlm hti berkate2 gak haishhh blom kompom kot....butt one thing aku sgt sgt suke n happy dgn kate2 positve dia....ai ckp gak "wehh what if xde....sbb line sgt samar kann" and she replied me...dont say that...insyaallah ade tu..doa semoga Allah kurniakan janin @kandungan yg sihat..permudahkan sgalanya....byk lg kate2 yg sangat menyenangkan hati n halwa telinga ai dgr....hehehe.....i love u sis!!!! Sooo much!!! HOW DO U FEEL?...mine? ....im happy.... :)

Owh yaaa...i told my sis not to tell my mom until its confirm....however she was so excited, n dia pun bg tau (dlm hatiii haiiilaaa haiiii kang kok x jd sian ibu...sbb even this is not cucu pertama uols tp im the youngest and among siblings ai jek blom ade jekiii..)....dan bermula lah lg episod petua and much more advse from her...and she also gv me alot of kata2 yg sgt2 positve...me love u toooo ibuuu ....HOW DO YOU FEEL? mine....im super dupper happy uols :)

Besides excted yg overloaded, other reason yg buat my sis btau ibu sbb kate nye "takpela ibu tau..doa ibu kan paling mustajab.....besides ko doa sendiri im sure ibu akan doaaa more2 extra tuk ko dik" haishhh sedih lak bile dia ckp cmtu....dlm hti hurmmm betul gak.....

Cik hun dia mula2 xcted kot...tp kontrol2 skit huhu and besides ibu n sis...he is pillar of my strenght
He was sooo cool, calm and steady. Katenye bersedia dgn segala kemungkinan.....love u hunnn!!! 

Happy kan bile kite cite kaat the one we loved most....and their feedbck like haaiihhh sooo menenangkan hti .....tp nk buat mcm mane happy tu x lame bile upt -ve.... but org2 yg kat ats ni keep bg moral support...their always positve..kate2 mcm

# its ok dik...insyaalllah ade rezeki tu
# Allah nak uji dulu....insyaallah ade sok tu
# takper .....jgn putus doa mtk kat Allah, dia maha mengetahui
#takpelah....xde rezeki nak buat mcm mane, kite kan ade anak buluss...kite jg dia je laa semtara nak ade baby (ni dr my hun...hehehe).
# takpe2...tp kan hati aku ni kuat ckp ko akan pregnant this yr (haaa ni dr my bff....dia pon sgt positve..love u bff)
#keep on trying babe.....
# Allah da aturkan segalanya tuk ko....ade hikmah tuuu....

Yeeer inilah kate2 yg aku nk dgr....Dan byk2 lg kate2 yg dorang bg supya aku x hilang semangattt hehe...HOW DO YOU FEEL? Surrounding by this beautiful fmily n frens....im blessed!!!

Buttttt.....bile ade positive makanya adela negatve kannn..bile da kompom xde, hati tergerak nak cite kat someone yg aku syg gak...but i just cnt share why i did not tell her bile upt +ve (ala2 perangkap samar tu) let me keep inside my heart....when i slowly btau dia, bla..bla..bla...she jst listen dgn kepla angguk2 sikit (bgtau time tu tgh makan , x senonoh kan hehehe...) ai pun gegehh cite from a to z...sambil sedih2 skit, soreee ai kendur2 sikit.....emosi skit....and lastly ai ckp hurmmm so skrg da xde, bile buat upt -ve.....and u know what she reply me?  "Owhhh yeke..hurm mmg xde tuuuuu" pstu smbng makan .....thats it!!!! Oiiiii mak geegeh cte, tu je???? Tu jeee??? .....ai pun trs tunduk sambung makan..walau rase nasikk tu mcm pasir..walau rase mcm air tu bile minum x rase itu air.....shre with someone that i love....but the feedbck was soooo.........xde kate2 semngat...simpati..kate2 nk pujuk hati yg duka lara nii...XDE OKEH!!!

so HOW DO YOU FEEL?  

Mine??? I was down.....down sampai bawah kerak bumi :(  tp aku cube gak tahan....bertahan....tp da x tertahan aku luah kan kat sini...sob...sob...sob..peristiwa masih jelas kat kepla otak aku ni haaa...masihhh berbekam...tp aku buat biasa je....dlm hati...jika ada rezeki aku mengandung aku x kan btau dia smpai lah dia tnye npe perut aku tekedepan sgt....until that moment just "ssshhhhhhh"

I believe most of ttcians go through same experince as mine...hanya kita yg rase yg tahu mcm mane perasaan itu.....pedih nye....sakit nye....keciwaaaa nye.....kdg2 hapy (bile upt +ve.... even x pregnant pon) perasaan mengharap tu dlm pada dmulut ckp x mengharap....tp di hatiii harapan setinggi2nya nk jd seorg ibu......bg yg kawin2 je trs pregnant, sile jgn bersuara mcm "aku faham perasaan ko" a big FAT noo plss...sbbb korang x kan faham...takkan faham stu ape pun sbb korang x rase ape yg kami2 ni rase....

Kepada di luar sane, tlg jgn tanye ape pun kat kami ttcians.....bile nk ade baby or anythng yg related....makkk x suke....x sukè okeh!! takpayh tanye just doakan kami je...doakan kami diam2 sudaa...

Okeh entry ni panjang bejelaaa...part 2 abis disini...hehehehe

Semoga doa2 ku dimakbulkan..amin

p/s: dear my precious bunga, ibu ingat haritu dpt jmpe bunga....tp takdir kite x tertulis begitu :(  tp doa ibu hari2 supaya dpt jmpe bunga...bunga yg ibu & daddy tunggu2....♡ u bunga!!!

XOXO
{ibubunga}